Corporate Bullshit Generator Online

Gautier de Montmollin have gone and done it: Put his marvelous Corporate Bullshit Generator online, so now you can get your daily dose of corporate madness with a mere click on the mouse.

The new paradigms streamline accepted relationships. Escalations target the customers; in the same time the resources transition the strategic, executive-level, implications.

Yea, that’s right: New paradigms always streamline accepted relationships. Already I feel wiser. Thanks Gautier!

Corporate Bullshit Generator – Official Gautier Blog

Some three weeks ago I wrote about the Corporate Bullshit Generator, a wonderful piece of Ada programming that bring us phrases such as

Our customer-centric dialogues synergize the enablers as part of the plan, while lessons learned leverage a documented and integrated client focus.

and

An industry-standard platform technically transfers the focus, while a cost-effective 360-degree thinking transfers cascading skills. We must activate the matrix to think differently.

Now the creator of this wonder has mentioned it on his blog, Gautier’s Blog, so I thought that I would once again tip my hat and congratulate Gautier on having started this most important project. :o)

Now I just need to get my act together, and offer the services of this program online at the Ada-DK website.

Corporate Bullshit Generator

Sometimes a piece of software emerges because it has to. It has lived too long in the deep recesses of its creator’s mind, and now it wants air.

The Corporate Bullshit Generator is one such piece of software. Or at least that is my guess. I’m thinking that one day Gautier de Montmollin simply reached the limit of his ability to withstand the constant onslaught of PHB “intellect”, but instead of breaking down and leaving his field of choice to become a gardener, he instead sat down and channeled some of that pent up fury into what I can only describe as a carthasis of a software engineer’s mind.

So what we have here is a fun program that spouts typical manager babble at blazing speeds. Yes, it is fun, but also a bit sad, because I’m willing to bet that most of us have actually heard real people using sentences that are damn close to, if not the same as, the ones generated by The Corporate Bullshit Generator:

A future-ready emotional intelligence technically motivates the perspective champion.

If I close my eyes, I can easily imagine some sales manager trying to convince the world (and maybe me) that he truly is a motivated perspective champion. He even got a wicked Powerpoint presentation to prove it!

I think we need a page here at the Ada-DK website dedicated to the wonderful babble generated by this program.